Why "Ugly Betty" Will Never Go Out of Style

5.22.2023

(Photo above does not belong to me)

I can recall in the back of my mind moments of hearing about "Ugly Betty"(2006) in high school hallways, waiting rooms, and family gatherings. It was a show that I heard on radio reviews and television commercials. "Ugly Betty" slowly became one of those shows that many people talked about, but I never had the opportunity to watch. I was only 11 when this show premiered and now watching it as a 28-year-old, I honestly believe that "Ugly Betty" is still relevant today. The characters are just as lovable and equally loathsome. The storyline, twists, and turns are unexpected and simultaneously beautiful. The tensions between the American life and the opportunities that are accessible to minorities are empowering and incredibly real. 

In the beginning of this year, I really wanted to start watching a show. One that I knew that I'd get lost in with characters that I'd fall in love with and a story that would completely draw me in. So, on my day off while browsing multiple shows on Hulu, I quickly made my decision to start something that I've always wanted to get into-- Ugly Betty.

Ugly Betty has quickly become one my favorite shows. I have fully given my heart to these characters and the plot line continues to keep me guessing. We see Betty Suarez, a first generation Mexican- American navigate high-fashion New York, building a career in writing, new (and sometimes old) heart-breaking love, family highs and lows, and growing and learning more about who she wants to be. Along with dynamic leads, we get distinctive lead characters who are just as complex, hilarious, villainous, multi-faceted, beautiful, and full of depth. Each character has such significant roles in making this show full of color, character, and chaos. 

In any show, there has to be characters that we relate to the most and I feel that I relate most with Betty. I am a first-generation American, graduated with a BA in English, learning the values of family and the expectations of those roles while trying to progress in career and in life. 

I have to admit that I CRIED in scenes between Henry and Betty and their love story grew deeper and I lost it when she had to make the final decision of letting him go-- BUT the surprise that came in just the next season-- made me jump out of my seat! I also found myself standing in front of my TV in moments of gasp-worthy endings.

I just finished the season finale of the show today and I believe it was the best ending to any show I've ever watched. As a viewer, they closed each story for each character with such care, growth, and intention. We have in some sense grew with these characters and the life lessons that come from this show are so important. 

Earlier this year, I got to live in England for the first time in my life and it was scary and exciting. So when Betty's dad, Ignacio, began to tell her that she was going to navigate a whole new place, people, and culture all by herself-- I CRIED-- because that is what it felt like leaving my home and the people that I loved there! But Betty didn't go alone. She held each person that has been a part of her story. In the same way, I knew I was carrying my family, friends, and moments of complete growth with me. Betty is inspiring, creative, and passionate. Her family is just as vibrant, encouraging, and crazy-- mine are too! 

One thing that I've learned from this show is to go after what makes us come alive, while being in the moment and even when we make mistakes, coming clean and facing them won't be the end of the world. Ugly Betty will never go out of style and if you have the urge to start a show, I'd recommend this one.

Thanks for reading!

MJ

I Love My Body

12.25.2022

I have been sitting deleting and rewriting the introduction to this blogpost and I've come to realize that I'm just going to be honest and say what I have to say. 

I LOVE MY BODY.

A significant contributing factor to who I am is that I am Mexican and Filipino, which comes with other ethnicities on both of my parents side respectively, such as Samoan, Hawaiian, and Spanish, therefore comes with significant physical attributes. 

I could write about western influence and culture's "ideal" body type, which social media has portrayed and there is progress, but I want to focus on my own journey with my body type. First, I don't want this post to lead to comparison-- yes expose it-- but ultimately, to voice my journey with my body and how I've learned to love it. ALL bodies are beautiful. Jesus is beauty. He crafted us and loves us so much, which is why we also have to care for our bodies at the same time-- let me explain.

Since being home in the San Francisco Bay Area, I've had a lot of time to reflect and the following are my musings-- things that I have learned and realized during these past few months. Again, I don't want to idealize the perfect body type nor compare, please hear my heart in this. While I was in England, I had to remind myself that I am Mexipino (Mexican and Filipino combined) becuase there weren't many Mexicans or Filipinos where I was. Now back home, I am seeing Hispanic and Filipino women/s bodies. I had to also remember that coming from the family that I have, comes with specific physical attributes that make my body different than the European demographic.

Now, I have to mention that while in Leicester, I FORSURE had a crush on this guy. Having a crush considers many things, some of those things is my image (how I looked), wondering if he could like me, and, of course, does he find me attractive. Again, I mention body types because I did wonder, what he found attractive. I did think that there were women there who I thought would be a WAY better choice than me because they were much prettier, more fit, and more perfect. Understanding that I have my own insecurities-- BUT who doesn't have these thoughts. Trust that I fully believe there is no competition. We, as women, get to build each other up and PLEASE-- as if I'd try to fight for a man's attention-- that's when I KNOW he's not the man for me. *snaps and puts a piece of my hair behind my ear* 

There are always going to be attractive people. There are always going to be women who's bodies look nothing like mine and I love every inch of me. I know and believe that the Lord loves every part of me, which allows me to love my body where it is now, while taking care of it, which comes to my next thought.

I have to take care of my body. I don't want to hold my body to a higher standard than the Lord because I want to give the Lord everything, including my mind and body. This isn't out of force, but a joyful sacrifice. Taking care of my mind and body looks like working out, getting enough sleep, going on walks, worshiping, drinking WATER, eating MEAT (Sorry for non-meat eaters), having a healthy diet and, overall, walking into each day knowing and believing that the Lord created my body. 

As I've grown up and learned my body, I noticed that when I work out, instead of getting "thinner" I don't get smaller, my muscles grow. When I drink milk, my face breaks out. When I don't drink enough water, I feel bloated. When I don't sleep enough, I'm tired the whole day. When I go don't go outside, I'm more anxious. I feel that I have to express that I don't require perfection, but being aware of what my body needs and refusing what it doesn't.

I also believe that our bodies respond to the way we think. If I hate my body, my body will show it. If I am ashamed of my body, my body will show it, but when I walk in my identity and joy that the Lord created me-- my body will show it. Praise God.

Romans 12:1-2 states, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-- This is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing, and perfect will (NIV).

Our bodies and minds are valuable to the way we interact and see the world. Jesus is worthy of these things and so much more. As far as my love for my body goes, I am grateful and so thankful of how my body looks and feels. The Lord created me and I am deeply grateful for the way He's crafted me. So in everything that I do, I do in worship unto Him.

Thank you for reading

Much Love,

MJ

Because Writing

11.26.2022


I have to admit, this has been well overdue and I find myself needing to do things that I enjoy doing-- writing being one of those things. Maybe I'll explain what writing means to me more so for my own sake than you, dear reader, so that I can see these words written-- or should I say-- typed out. Anyways, I feel the need to write about writing. 

This makes me think of one of my university friends while I was studying English. There lives a mutual connection and understanding of having to write papers, reading texts, and talking about said texts that bonds us, so my friend would say, "We bleed ink." This is the life of a writer and it also makes me laugh because it's true and it was coming from my friend, who I miss very much. 

I do believe that "bleeding ink" is an expression of what stories, words, and world perspectives live inside of us and a life as a writer let's it all out on paper... or screen... in order to share it-- a collective experience that allows others to be a part of, which I think is why I enjoy it so much. What also comes to mind is that I was shy growing up and writing was my source of expressing myself and letting people in on what I was thinking. Reading was also a contributing factor. 

I was inspired by the way authors-- writers-- were able to start a story. In only a single paragraph, they were able to set up and share a world. Imagination a platform for people to connect and I believe it is a powerful thing. Creating stories is easy for me. Imagining these worlds are easy for me and reading is a place of escape; an opportunity to visit and explore these worlds that I would/ could never have imagined if it were not for these writers. To some extent, authors opened up themselves to these worlds that they have created so that others can be a part of it. 

Writing is a platform for the imagination to explore and build creatively, as well as a point of connection. Writing helps me process and find stories that I didn't know were there. Writing helps clear my mind and right when I get lost in writing a story, I forget where I am. Writing is a place where I know anything can happen and it allows my heart to step into what I was made for.

I am a writer and it's hard to confess, but I have to do it more often. If you've read this far, thank you for reading and being a part of the process. 


Much Love,

MJ

Kool Kids Forever

5.25.2022

On May 21, 2022, a dear friend, Leeroy Gotami, passed away from an epileptic fit while in his sleep. The following morning, Saturday, 21st May, 2022-- friends and family were notified of his passing. I've written and rewritten this blog post, but I think it's important for me share the impact that Leeroy has had on not only the lives of his peers, but my life in particular. 

I don't remember exactly how I met Leeroy, but I do have a specific memory that started our friendship. Sometime in early February after the 11:30AM service at Chroma, a group of us went to Nandos for lunch. There was about 8 or 9 of us in total. I got in a car with Ben and Leeroy and we drove to the Nandos in Fosse Park, which is a shopping center just outside the city. I sat in the back seat while Ben was driving and Leeroy was in shot gun, which made him DJ. 

I have to tell you the joy and simultaneous shock of the selection of songs that were played during this car ride and how BOTH of these guys, who are 20-years-old knew EVERY word to EVERY song. These were songs that filled my teenage life and I was in AWE! We all sang on the top of our lungs and I couldn't believe that they loved and enjoyed these songs! I laughed so much! There was a moment, I sat back taking it all in and thanked God for this moment. The Lord is so kind for bringing me here-- to Leicester, England, to Chroma Church to meet these lives-- to behold their hearts. I sat in that backseat letting the drive, music, and people set and ground deep into the core of my memory. I should mention that Leeroy and Ben had multiple sing-along sessions like this WAY before this magical moment, so it was so special getting to be a part of it. 

When we arrived to Fosse Park, Leeroy and Ben swore me to secrecy and that I could not mention this to anyone. Even though I am sharing this, I will not share the songs that were sung on this blogpost in order to keep The Kool Kids legacy alive. Later that day, I told Ellie (LOL). 

A few days later, Ellie, Ben, Leeroy and I were standing in the lobby of Chroma Church. At this point, Ellie had not fully experienced this karaoke joy ride, so Leeroy then suggested that we initiate Ellie into the group. I jokingly took them to the side of the lobby, only about 8 feet away and brought them into a huddle. Ben and Leeroy understood what I was trying to do and we talked over each other making this "meeting" meaningless as possible. All the while Ellie was laughing at how ridiculous we looked. We would whisper and look up at Ellie, then whispered again, then quickly shook hands. We would then test Ellie to see if she could be initiated. 

I don't fully recall where we were going, but I can only assume we were (in the words of Benjamin Hunter) in the right place, the right time, the right people, and the right resources.

And thus, the Kool Kids was born. We, very soon after this, created a group chat, which was named accordingly to the Kool Kids, but has now been changed to Kool Kids Forever. 

It has been difficult and sad processing and interacting with the news that Leeroy is gone, but knowing that he gets to worship King Jesus has brought comfort and joy. As for now, it's been so beautiful getting to see the fruit of a community choose Jesus and knowing that I know that I know that God is faithful, true, and kind remains the foundation-- always-- a holy communion of two separate, but tethered realities of celebration and mourning of a friend. It's weird, but the Lord is in it. 

Leeroy always brought so much joy, depth, and fun. He was always willing to wait and stay with the one that needed help, time, and great tunes. He was a great friend. I am incredibly grateful to have met Leeroy and to see the community he's created around him. 

If you are moved to donate towards Leeroy's family at this time, you can do so at this link, here.

I pray that the Holy Spirit covers and fills you as you say YES to today and that you see another part of Jesus' face. 

Much Love,

MJ

Burritos, Driving, and Change

1.05.2022


 Hello!

I have officially been in England close to four months now, and with a new culture, people, and places-- comes with change. At the beginning of December, I have been thinking a lot about the things I've been missing. Things such as family, food, burritos, the ocean, driving, and the Bay Area-- its air, busy-ness, seafood, and morning fog. These are things that have stapled a place and time in my life. Currently, I don't have a car, a job, or the easy access to a large body of water,. *Cue How Far I'll Go From "Moana"*

It's a strange feeling missing things, but knowing completely that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. There is a deep yearning to want to take my family and those who have invested in me from the US to Leicester and introduce you to Chroma Church and the people that I've been able to know these past few months-- and I can't believe its only been a few months!! It makes me think of how many more people I'm going to be able to meet that I haven't yet met.

There are some days that I'll look at pictures and think about my friends and family. Standing with them at the given time and place when the photo or video was taken. I know that I'll get to see them again, but I've allowed myself to simply miss them. 

As much as I've missed things, people, and places, I've let myself feel them-- to feel the difference and change of the season that I'm currently in and because of this, I'm doing a lot better. I have learned a lot with making sure that I'm aware of how I feel, yet I try not to let it dictate my life. Feelings are tools and they are real, but the extent in which I let them control me is a place that I lay at the foot of the cross very often.  

I'm learning this beautiful tension of living and pressing into the yes that I've given to a time and place and realize it's a part of being human-- to accept that things change, which makes me incredibly grateful for new experiences, meeting new people and becoming a better version of myself. I thank God for loving me so much that He doesn't want to keep me where I am. As much as things can change, I lay down any and all control-- yes, He gives us the option to accept or deny things in our life because it's a relationship, but to be moved by love and obedience to the Lord of lords is how I want to live my life. Overall, I am grateful and I wouldn't want it any other way to be here in England with the people that I get to be here with. I pray that the Lord reveals Himself to you in every season of your life. 

Much Love,

MJ


The Lives We Hold

11.27.2021

 

This past week, my Third Year team and I got to go to Birmingham for an evangelic intensive training, which was taking place at Chroma Church Birmingham. I got to meet so many new people and I learned how to proactively share the Gospel, which ended with going out in pairs within the Birmingham city center. On my third night away from Leicester, I was brushing my teeth and I thought about Chroma and the people that are currently living in Leicester. While getting ready for bed, I had a wave hit me. I miss Leicester. I miss the my bed, the house, and the people there. Being able to go to Birmingham was a so much fun and the people that I got to meet there was a gift, but I think I was faced with how much of a home Chroma and the people are have been. When we got back to Leicester and went to church on Sunday, I LEGIT started crying (Of course)! 

Then a thought crossed my mind. If the Lord hadn't put me on a plane in order to meet and interact with the lives here, I would never have known that these lives existed. What an honor it is to know and behold these lives. One of the things that I learned while at First Year that my Revival Group Pastor, Jeremy Gonzales, said was, "What you carry, everyone needs and what everyone else carries, you need." We are all deeply important and significant to God and the advancement of His Kingdom. 

I have to admit that some of the reasons I'm here is (yes because of the Lord), but it's also because of BSSM, my parents, friends and mentors. I think about how hard it was to make the decision to redo 2nd Year of BSSM. The moments when I was kneeling on the ground in the Bethel sanctuary crying out for the Lord to change my circumstances-- yet still knowing and believing that He is so worthy of adoration and praise. He is worthy of every YES. Even what I don't feel like it-- even when I don't see it! He is WORTHY! When my heart whispers or roars for the Lord, He is always willing and ready to show up. I think of these moments and I am moved by the King. He has given me a gift, a gift of freedom, love, and joy! He has given me a place and people that I get to run with-- to go after love

My heart and soul is moved by the Lord of lords! The Prince of Peace! He is a God that is alive and moving. Dear reader, if you just found this blogpost and have not made a decision to live your life as a follower of Jesus-- I invite you to make a decision, which is the best decision of your life. Your life is full of purpose and calling. You are made to host the Holy Spirit-- filled with passions and talents created with intention and love. 

If you want to make a decision to follow Jesus, please send me a message on any of my social media platforms and I want to pray for you.

With All That I am,

MJ

Letting Him In

10.28.2021

Dear Reader,

How are you doing? Or if you're in the UK, people are most likely to say, You alright? which I think is so cool! It's fun to see the ways that culture, people, and language cultivate a space! It's been about a month and a couple weeks since I've been in Leicester and I'm still learning and taking in all that I can. 

If you haven't yet read my most recent blogpost where I talk about my first three weeks in Leicester, England, you can read that here. In some regard, it still does feel like I just arrived to Leicester even after a month and a couple of weeks in Leicester. There's so much He's been doing!

I think I've gotten to the point to some degree that I have fully settled in and have my schedule on lockdown. I have days off on Saturdays and Wednesdays. Student Church on Thursday nights; Admin and meetings throughout the week; and Sunday services all day. I do find time to rest and unwind, which I have to be extra intentional about, but it's all been so much fun and a great learning season!

As much as being here is fun, new, and exciting; it has also come with its challenges. I do miss my family. I'm learning what it's like interceding and praying for situations in my life that were left broken. I'm still learning a lot about what it takes to be a part of the "behind-the-scenes" process of being in a church, but I am incredibly comforted by the King of kings. I have to be honest, I left the US with a couple open wounds. I mean-- leaving Redding, I felt like I left completely loved and championed. Leaving Redding meant being surrounded by people who said We'll miss you, but go! ( I miss those guys!!)

Leaving Redding, I let myself feel the pain that came with leaving a community of people, a place I called home outside of my own family home. I felt like I've mourned and grieved all that I could. I thought I moved on and gave the attention my feelings needed in order to process fully. Once we begin to think that a Christian life is supposed to be perfect, we've lost. 

A few weeks ago at Student Church, Amelia, who is the Youth & Students pastor at Chroma, preached on inviting the Holy Spirit into our lives and hearts no matter the condition that we're in. She used the analogy of the multiple ways in which we clean up our houses depending on who's coming over. There are specific people who we invite over and everything has to be spotless. On the other hand, there is a friend who can come over even when the house is a complete mess. Amelia (or Meels) prompted us and asked which scenario do we invite the Holy Spirit into our lives. Ouch. It was so good! I'd hope to think that I invite the Holy Spirit in all the time. But I waited on the Lord and I heard Him say, Can I heal that part of your heart. And I knew exactly what He was referring to. I flinched. I was shocked. I thought I had healed. I thought I had moved on. 

After a few minutes, I let the Father in. I let Him take the dry, itchy scab off and I cried. I let love in and at its center-- it was this yearning and hope for connection. It was this desire for the things that were left broken to be set back in place. Isn't it like God to bring things up that I don't fully understand, but willing to mourn and grieve with us. To think about His kindness and patience to ask and heal those parts that I didn't know needed healing. I blows my mind. I've been able to talk to Tim and my team about what the Lord is doing in my heart. Tim, though, prompted me with a solution, which was to get on the alter and ask the Lord to burn me. This is costly. 

These past few weeks, I have been learning, asking, and pursuing the Lord in what burning on the alter looks like. I don't know if I can fully explain what it's like to encounter the Holy Spirit, but I can try. Burning on the alter looks like worship to Jesus-- beautiful, worthy, and holy King Jesus! To let Him strip away everything and in return knowing that He is worthy of all of my affection, attention, and adoration. There is nothing else that I want, but HIM! To stare in the eyes of Jesus and see how they burn for me-- for sons and daughters to know their true and full identity as children of God! To offer my life over and over and over and over and over again because that is what He's worth-- and so. much. MORE! My Love and best friend! JESUS! 

I CANNOT LIVE A LIFE THAT ISN'T CHANGED BY HIM!

To look at His face and die, knowing that He will blow life back in! Isn't it like Him! He is worthy! HOLY AND BEAUTIFUL KING. More and more does the unfortunate circumstances that come with life become smaller in the presence of God. He is so much bigger than I can ever imagine.

I'm still learning and I pray that the Lord forever teaches me how to die and burn for Him!

Much Love,

MJ

I moved to Leicester, England!

10.06.2021

It's officially three full weeks in England and I wanted to take a moment to express and write out what it's been like so far! I recently sent out an October email, which you can view here. I talk about the ministry opportunities and team introductions in that email, but I will mentioned it on this post as well. So if you are not subscribed and would like to, you can do so on the right-hand-side of my blog page.  

Wow wow wow! Every morning I wake up, I think I can't believe I'm here and every time I go to sleep, I think, This is what I want to do. On my first day here, I did not have any jet lag, which I am so grateful for! I did roughly 30 hours of traveling and I was so exhausted that by the time I got to the house that I'll be staying in for the year and got ready for bed-- I fell asleep instantly. The next day, I got to meet Tim Churchward, his wife, Jess, and their two little chickadees! Tim is my Third Year mentor this year and one of the Lead pastors at Chroma Church.

I also got to check-out Chroma Youth, which was so much fun! I met so many people and I walked into the main sanctuary of Chroma for the first time. I have been watching Chroma's live streams on YouTube for about a year and a half, so getting to see it for my own eyes and to be there in the room-- I kept thinking about what my relationship with God has been like. All the hard things, good things, and waiting seasons. I was marveled and in awe of who God is and what He's done in my life. I started crying (of course) and as the days progressed, I was letting the reality of being in a different country sink in, especially since England has been a place where I've always wanted to go. 

Later in the week, we had a conference called Leaders Gathering, where people from all over the UK could come and encounter a refreshing breathe and filling of the Holy Spirit. Many of the people who attended were church leaders and (in some instances) was their first time attending a gathering like this since lockdown started. The Lord met His kids and people encountered the Lord deeply. It was an honor to pour out and to be poured into. 

More recently, we got to go on retreat with our team to the countryside, which was my first time-- there has been a lot of firsts since coming to the UK. We walked out through the fields and followed the trail into the forest. It was so much fun! After our walk, we shared stories, prepared lunch, and met the rest of Tim's team. It was on this retreat that my third year team and I were officially put on ministry teams where we'll be serving for the year. 

I will be helping with Student ministry (College age students), Administration, and Tough Topics. Each of us were also placed into a Revival Group (RG) and I will be joining Katy Ball's RG for the year, which I am so excited about! As an intern, I will also be a part of the connect team for Chroma, as well as the ministry team, where I'll get to pray and serve the congregation. God is moving in this place and I am so grateful that He chose me. 

That still moves my heart-- He chose me and He will keep choosing me. Dear reader, the Lord chose you. If you think that your life lacks purpose or calling-- that is a lie and you are made for such a time as this! 

Your life has purpose.

You are full of His calling!

Your passions and goals in life is what the Lord wants to use. I charge and encourage you that when we lay down our dreams at the foot of the cross, He will USE them!! He wants to do life with us! All it takes is a yes. All it takes is saying yes to Him and that's all He needs. You are all that He NEEDS! 

I want to take this moment to say that I am so proud of you! Where you are now, at the place that you are in now. I am so proud of you! It is without a doubt that the Lord, the savior of the world is even more proud of you! If you need to hear that the war is won because Jesus already fought it for you-- hear it now. That's what He does. He will fight for you and say that it is your victory because that is how He loves.

You've. WON!

Being here in Leicester, England, is something I could not have thought up on my own. So many things needed to happen with the Lord in order to fully step into what He had for me here. There were so many hard moments, but there were even sweeter moments still. I don't have life figured out and I never want to get to a place where I've convinced myself that I have it all figured out or under control, but the Lord is there every step of the way. Hold fast to Him and chose life with Him-- things will change! 

Dear Reader, thank you for investing time into reading this post and I hope that you encounter God in such deep and sweet ways! He is so patient with us. 

Much Love,

MJ

The Bay Area

8.19.2021


Hello!

It's officially two and half weeks since I've moved from Redding, California, to the Bay Area. I had hoped to have been in Leicester, England by the 15th, but I feel that there has been so much grace and God's hand over the timing of everything. Considering that I was planning on being home for only two weeks, the Lord knew that I needed more time than that. I'm starting to realize that the timing of securing housing in Leicester has also been such great timing, too, because if I had left when I planned to leave, I'm not sure if I would have any place to stay. All I'm waiting for is my Visa Decision and even that brings comfort in knowing that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be-- there is no rush. 

Going back home, I have gotten more insight to my family and their day-to-day life for more than three days would have given me because three days is the most I would have been able to spend with my family at a time while I lived in Redding. It's really cool getting to learn the knick-knacks and routines that my family has, which I am incredibly grateful to get to be a part of. There's a great difference being exposed to people and places that aren't a part of our "regular" schedules. 

I've noticed the subtlety of how much things have changed in my parents and younger sister's personalities; the growth that I see in my nieces and nephews; and the way my own hometown has gone reconstruction with torn down and rebuilt streets and buildings. I find that in some of my reflections driving through the East Bay, the City, and revisiting places that I've spent so much time in have changed. It's almost as if these towns and places represent how much the people in my own life has change. 

I have to emphasize the depth of how much I've realized things have changed since I left Redding.  Not to say that things have to be put on pause when I leave a place, but there is some comfort going back to familiar places. The Bay Area is home. My family is home. I have been in Redding for the past seven years, but it wasn't until 2015 that I've officially (all-year-round) started living in Redding. So coming back, I've felt like to some degree that everything was going to be the same. In some instances, things are, but there were conversations that happened that I wasn't a part of; trips that I didn't get to attend; and family/extended family birthdays that I didn't get to celebrate. These walls and the seats of cars have witnessed life these past few years that I never could. It may sound dramatic and I'm sure that different walls and places have witnessed how much I've changed, which needed to happen, but I'm processing this new perspective of time and the lives we get to be a part of. 

In the places that I've gotten to revisit like the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, Univeristy Avenue in Berkeley, and the Barnes and Nobles in El Cerrito. Other people have occupied the aisles and tables I once stood in, walked through, and revisited countless times before. It's different and I'll count on things changing even after I leave. 

Change can be scary, but it's also necessary. I've changed. My family has changed. My hometown has changed. It's a part of life and I feel that when it's officially time to get on that plane to Leicester-- I'm excited to see what other changes will take place. 

Much Love,

MJ

I'm Moving to England!!

7.06.2021

Hello!!

Summer has officially picked up in Redding and I'm grateful for the days when it gets is at least 100 degrees outside (Yes! I know!), but nonetheless, I'm taking in all that Redding summers offer. I want to write this blog post detailing a bit about what I'll be doing within the next month and half, which is insane to think about! There are a few moments that I start tearing up because all I can see is Jesus' face-- and that's all I want to see, but at the same time trying to be present and living each moment as much as I can!

As many of you know, I graduated from Second Year at BSSM in Redding, CA, in early May, which was filled with such deeper levels of knowing the living, breathing Father and letting those encounters with Him change who I am because they have to change me. This past year was so necessary and incredibly transforming. God's presence has filled each meeting, each conversation, and each moment. His love and kindness has been so tangible and undeniably beautiful. I want to take this moment, as well, to thank you for reading this post and if you have supported me in any way-- financially or through prayer-- I am incredibly thankful because I got to know and see the Lord! The Holy Spirit has tangibly moved and touched my heart and soul! To know Him for the rest of my life has become my greatest desire! So, thank you from the deepest parts of who I am because you have played a special part in where God is taking me. 

After completing the Second Year Program at BSSM, graduates get to apply for Third Year, which gives us the opportunity to be mentored by affiliated leaders within the Bethel Church Community including the global church. When starting Second Year in 2020, I knew that I wanted to pursue Third Year and I had a leader in mind, but I also knew that when starting Second Year, it couldn't just be about Third Year, it needed to be about HIM! And I got HIM!! God is the greatest gift and remains the greatest person that I have ever received. I've laid down dreams, my future, and my life to wanting to serve and love King Jesus.

Since, I knew God was on Third year, I decided to apply for a leader that I've known for about roughly a year, which after applying and going through an interview process, I can officially say that I will be interning with Tim Churchward, who is on the Pastor Leadership Team at Chroma Church in......... LEICESTER, ENGLAND

I'M MOVING TO ENGLAND!!!

CRAZY, RIGHT!! I could not have thought this up! For those who know me, I graduated with a degree in English, which meant that I would go to England because it is the motherland of my major and a right of passage because I've dedicated years to learning its Literature, English Language, and history.

It's definitely felt kinda weird and different knowing that things are going to change. Guys, this is a dream come true. After I had the interview with Tim, he thought it best to give ourselves a week to think and pray about it. While waiting for an answer and bringing this potential opportunity to the Holy Spirit, I prayed and worshiped knowing that the Lord is worthy and kind. I told the Lord that is He didn't want me to go to England, I don't want to go! His desires are my desires and all I want is more of Him-- however that looks in my life. 

During the waiting portion, I watched a movie called Clouds on Disney+ (it's a great movie, you should go watch it!!), which is about a boy who has terminal cancer and has only 6 months to live. By the end of the film, he asks the audience a question, which was, If you had 6 months to live how would you spend it? Three things popped into my head, but I'll only share two. (1) If given the chance, I would go to England and (2) I would worship my King-- King Jesus. That is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to go where my Love goes, I want to be where my best friend is! Jesus is my greatest love and an incredible friend! My heart resounds with thankfulness and I am incredibly honored to be chosen and to have this opportunity to run after Jesus face!

Thank you so much for reading!

Much Love,

MJ

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