Letting Him In


Dear Reader,

How are you doing? Or if you're in the UK, people are most likely to say, You alright? which I think is so cool! It's fun to see the ways that culture, people, and language cultivate a space! It's been about a month and a couple weeks since I've been in Leicester and I'm still learning and taking in all that I can. 

If you haven't yet read my most recent blogpost where I talk about my first three weeks in Leicester, England, you can read that here. In some regard, it still does feel like I just arrived to Leicester even after a month and a couple of weeks in Leicester. There's so much He's been doing!

I think I've gotten to the point to some degree that I have fully settled in and have my schedule on lockdown. I have days off on Saturdays and Wednesdays. Student Church on Thursday nights; Admin and meetings throughout the week; and Sunday services all day. I do find time to rest and unwind, which I have to be extra intentional about, but it's all been so much fun and a great learning season!

As much as being here is fun, new, and exciting; it has also come with its challenges. I do miss my family. I'm learning what it's like interceding and praying for situations in my life that were left broken. I'm still learning a lot about what it takes to be a part of the "behind-the-scenes" process of being in a church, but I am incredibly comforted by the King of kings. I have to be honest, I left the US with a couple open wounds. I mean-- leaving Redding, I felt like I left completely loved and championed. Leaving Redding meant being surrounded by people who said We'll miss you, but go! ( I miss those guys!!)

Leaving Redding, I let myself feel the pain that came with leaving a community of people, a place I called home outside of my own family home. I felt like I've mourned and grieved all that I could. I thought I moved on and gave the attention my feelings needed in order to process fully. Once we begin to think that a Christian life is supposed to be perfect, we've lost. 

A few weeks ago at Student Church, Amelia, who is the Youth & Students pastor at Chroma, preached on inviting the Holy Spirit into our lives and hearts no matter the condition that we're in. She used the analogy of the multiple ways in which we clean up our houses depending on who's coming over. There are specific people who we invite over and everything has to be spotless. On the other hand, there is a friend who can come over even when the house is a complete mess. Amelia (or Meels) prompted us and asked which scenario do we invite the Holy Spirit into our lives. Ouch. It was so good! I'd hope to think that I invite the Holy Spirit in all the time. But I waited on the Lord and I heard Him say, Can I heal that part of your heart. And I knew exactly what He was referring to. I flinched. I was shocked. I thought I had healed. I thought I had moved on. 

After a few minutes, I let the Father in. I let Him take the dry, itchy scab off and I cried. I let love in and at its center-- it was this yearning and hope for connection. It was this desire for the things that were left broken to be set back in place. Isn't it like God to bring things up that I don't fully understand, but willing to mourn and grieve with us. To think about His kindness and patience to ask and heal those parts that I didn't know needed healing. I blows my mind. I've been able to talk to Tim and my team about what the Lord is doing in my heart. Tim, though, prompted me with a solution, which was to get on the alter and ask the Lord to burn me. This is costly. 

These past few weeks, I have been learning, asking, and pursuing the Lord in what burning on the alter looks like. I don't know if I can fully explain what it's like to encounter the Holy Spirit, but I can try. Burning on the alter looks like worship to Jesus-- beautiful, worthy, and holy King Jesus! To let Him strip away everything and in return knowing that He is worthy of all of my affection, attention, and adoration. There is nothing else that I want, but HIM! To stare in the eyes of Jesus and see how they burn for me-- for sons and daughters to know their true and full identity as children of God! To offer my life over and over and over and over and over again because that is what He's worth-- and so. much. MORE! My Love and best friend! JESUS! 


To look at His face and die, knowing that He will blow life back in! Isn't it like Him! He is worthy! HOLY AND BEAUTIFUL KING. More and more does the unfortunate circumstances that come with life become smaller in the presence of God. He is so much bigger than I can ever imagine.

I'm still learning and I pray that the Lord forever teaches me how to die and burn for Him!

Much Love,


I moved to Leicester, England!


It's officially three full weeks in England and I wanted to take a moment to express and write out what it's been like so far! I recently sent out an October email, which you can view here. I talk about the ministry opportunities and team introductions in that email, but I will mentioned it on this post as well. So if you are not subscribed and would like to, you can do so on the right-hand-side of my blog page.  

Wow wow wow! Every morning I wake up, I think I can't believe I'm here and every time I go to sleep, I think, This is what I want to do. On my first day here, I did not have any jet lag, which I am so grateful for! I did roughly 30 hours of traveling and I was so exhausted that by the time I got to the house that I'll be staying in for the year and got ready for bed-- I fell asleep instantly. The next day, I got to meet Tim Churchward, his wife, Jess, and their two little chickadees! Tim is my Third Year mentor this year and one of the Lead pastors at Chroma Church.

I also got to check-out Chroma Youth, which was so much fun! I met so many people and I walked into the main sanctuary of Chroma for the first time. I have been watching Chroma's live streams on YouTube for about a year and a half, so getting to see it for my own eyes and to be there in the room-- I kept thinking about what my relationship with God has been like. All the hard things, good things, and waiting seasons. I was marveled and in awe of who God is and what He's done in my life. I started crying (of course) and as the days progressed, I was letting the reality of being in a different country sink in, especially since England has been a place where I've always wanted to go. 

Later in the week, we had a conference called Leaders Gathering, where people from all over the UK could come and encounter a refreshing breathe and filling of the Holy Spirit. Many of the people who attended were church leaders and (in some instances) was their first time attending a gathering like this since lockdown started. The Lord met His kids and people encountered the Lord deeply. It was an honor to pour out and to be poured into. 

More recently, we got to go on retreat with our team to the countryside, which was my first time-- there has been a lot of firsts since coming to the UK. We walked out through the fields and followed the trail into the forest. It was so much fun! After our walk, we shared stories, prepared lunch, and met the rest of Tim's team. It was on this retreat that my third year team and I were officially put on ministry teams where we'll be serving for the year. 

I will be helping with Student ministry (College age students), Administration, and Tough Topics. Each of us were also placed into a Revival Group (RG) and I will be joining Katy Ball's RG for the year, which I am so excited about! As an intern, I will also be a part of the connect team for Chroma, as well as the ministry team, where I'll get to pray and serve the congregation. God is moving in this place and I am so grateful that He chose me. 

That still moves my heart-- He chose me and He will keep choosing me. Dear reader, the Lord chose you. If you think that your life lacks purpose or calling-- that is a lie and you are made for such a time as this! 

Your life has purpose.

You are full of His calling!

Your passions and goals in life is what the Lord wants to use. I charge and encourage you that when we lay down our dreams at the foot of the cross, He will USE them!! He wants to do life with us! All it takes is a yes. All it takes is saying yes to Him and that's all He needs. You are all that He NEEDS! 

I want to take this moment to say that I am so proud of you! Where you are now, at the place that you are in now. I am so proud of you! It is without a doubt that the Lord, the savior of the world is even more proud of you! If you need to hear that the war is won because Jesus already fought it for you-- hear it now. That's what He does. He will fight for you and say that it is your victory because that is how He loves.

You've. WON!

Being here in Leicester, England, is something I could not have thought up on my own. So many things needed to happen with the Lord in order to fully step into what He had for me here. There were so many hard moments, but there were even sweeter moments still. I don't have life figured out and I never want to get to a place where I've convinced myself that I have it all figured out or under control, but the Lord is there every step of the way. Hold fast to Him and chose life with Him-- things will change! 

Dear Reader, thank you for investing time into reading this post and I hope that you encounter God in such deep and sweet ways! He is so patient with us. 

Much Love,


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