Dear Summer: Part 4

Dear Summer,

I can't believe it's already June, which means that it's been a while since the last time we saw you. Trust me, I'm excited for you to fully unpack and settle in, but as a Bay Native, who loves cold weather-- please take your time getting here. The last time you had come into town, the world was breaking, running, mourning, and experiencing and waiting for change on every aspect of life. Hearts were broken, disappointed, but expectant and hopeful. 

Since the last time we saw each other, I was just starting 2nd Year. I remember standing in your heat unworried about how this year would unfold. But now that you're back, I am proud to say that I graduated 2nd Year at BSSM and that I was accepted to be a Third Year, which I will officially announce at a later date!! Trust me, it's really great news! This year was incredibly beautiful and it has been marked by encounters with the power of God and incredible, beautiful, sold-out-for-the King Revivalists. Very often, I thought about what would have happened in my life if I had made different choices. If I hadn't done BSSM, Simpson, or pursued that passions that filled my heart! I get more and more shocked by how life unfolds by the choices we make.

Considering how last year went, you have come in really nice, gradually letting us know that you are moving in. I remember the days that you came to check-up on us earlier in the year when I wasn't expecting such warm days. I usually enjoy surprises, but weather is something I take in high regard. You have no idea how tightly I'm going to be holding onto you for the next few months. I feel this year, you will be full of Good-byes, until-next-times, longer hugs, excitement, adventure, different accents, and time zones. 

I'm starting to think about the first time I ever wrote to you. I remember being nervous and a little scared when you came because of our history, but we learned how to trust each other again. I've learned a lot from you and how time can bring both pain and joy. A lot of things are going to change as the year progresses and there is incredible excitement, but I'm starting to realize that with change comes letting go. Maybe that's why we don't do so well at first when things change.

I'd like to consider you as close friend and I hope you think the same of me. A few days ago, I was looking at old videos and pictures of my old friends. There were a few moments when I really wanted to go back to those moments, to go back to that part of my life before everything changed. I've learned that things happen in our life that we can't fully explain, but what matters most is how we respond. And that's where grace comes in. Grace to make mistakes, to learn from them, and to grow from them. As I sat looking at these old videos and pictures, there was an urge to want to go back to that exact moment and fix the choices I made. Then I start thinking about where I am and who I've become in this moment.

As much as I would want to change things, there still remains a deeper longing for what Jesus has done in and through those moments. I rather the good and bad all mixed into knowing and believing that I have King Jesus with me-- my Savior, Love, and Best Friend. I wouldn't trade this year for anything. I've encountered the love of a Father like never before and as much as I want to go back to those friendships, life-stages, and moments-- I'm just as thankful to be out of that. I have the greatest opportunity to walk healed and growing in the reality of who I am as a Daughter of the Father. I'm not completely sure what I wanted this letter to look like, but I think what I've written is a reflection of where I am right now. I'm sure some of this doesn't make any sense, but I guess that's all part of the process. 

I'm grateful that you're here and all I ask is that you stay close and maybe bring in some rainy days, if you can.

Much Love,
MJ

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