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Fully Man | Shane Geer: A Story on Seeking

Redding, CA, USA

Shane Geer is a fellow 2nd Year student at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BBSM). He is from Southern California, but considers Redding, California, home. I first met Shane while we were both students at Simpson University, where he graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science in 2019. I currently work with Shane and am in the same Revival Group for 2nd Year and it has been a marvel to see how God has been radically impacting, growing, and transforming  his life! To experience the covering Shane offers in safety, trust, and freedom is an honor to know and to see the ways he has gone after the face of Jesus has the power to break chains and renew minds. The following is Shane's take on When was the moment you realized you were becoming a man? 


Let me tell you a story. I was a wee lad tottering around getting into all sorts of messes. I would blunder around joyfully with not a care in the world despite the walls that were collapsing around me. These days of careless joy and unbridled imagination were quickly being suffocated by the turmoil I was surrounded by. The times that I would try and have fun and laugh were met with glaring eyes and pain staked faces. I quickly had to learn to grow up in order to no longer face the rejection from hurting people. People who knew nothing aside from survival, no matter the cost-- be it their heart or others being lost.

Growing up quickly wasn't that bad though, at least when I would compare it to the troubles others had. I had to learn not to smile in order to not get beat, while others had to figure out where they were going to eat. I had to learn that men don't cry, while others had to learn how to keep warm at night. I had to learn that families normally break up, while others had to learn dead family members don't wake up. You see son, I had a lot of blessings: food in my belly and a roof over my head to name a few, but, you see son, those things just won't do. I was starving for emotional connection and a place I could call home, because growing up I still felt empty and alone. 

Home. Such an interesting phrase, not something determined by a space, but rather something shared by those who love the sight of your face. I had for so long searched for meaning and identity through performance and ambition that I didn't know what it was like to be loved for the person I was made to be. Thankfully the LORD finally made me see His shining face and the love He had for me. As I slowly fell in love with the Man hung on a tree, I kept retuning to the poison my past had for me. I thought the key to life's glee was simply self-rejection and misery. You see I had heard so often, "work hard now, so you can play hard later" or "dreams don't come for free" that I forgot to live the life that was right in front of me. Thankfully the grace and mercy of my creator is enough for me and still fought for me despite my failings or lack of intimacy. 

Intimacy, into-me-you-see. The thing I lack because I don't want people to see into me. Being told I was too loud, too rambunctious, too obnoxious, too much. Too much, the opposite of not enough. Rather I must live a life that is tempered and tamed in order to be named, beloved. Beloved the name that the LORD has called me because Shane, is actually the same name as John just derived through the Irish rendition Sean. Beloved, a much loved person, whom God seemed to choose despite the imperfections. The imperfections that make up the perfection. The perfection declared by God because He spoke it into being. He spoke me into being. The being that is not too loud, rambunctious, obnoxious, or TOO MUCH. How can the infinite God be burdened by too much? He says that it is not enough to have a life that has been snuffed. He wants a life broken free from the chains of achieving and deceiving. Achievement marked by deception. Deception that one could find the fullness of perfection by striving. By working. By fighting.

Instead intimacy was bought for me by the Man who hung on a tree. In order to allow me to see the brokenness all throughout me. To surrender up the misery and striving. To find joy in the abiding. Joy and peace that allows me to be fully me. The fullness of identity found in the creation He made me to be. No tempered glee or barred off intimacy, but rather freedom to be loved and to love me. 

Son, do not forsake the depth you have, nor the experiences you have been handed. You are beautiful. Son do not allow others to define the characteristics the good LORD gave you. You are beautiful. Son do not allow yourself to throw away the pieces of your heart that seem to be unwanted. You are beautiful. Being a man is not about growing up, moving out, getting a job, or providing for a family. It is about recognizing the beauty the LORD has created in you and through you. It  is about providing a burnt offering and receiving the fullness of His glory. It is about being a man who's willing to hang on a tree to bring intimacy to those who have still not seen.

Yours Truly,
The Beloved

You can follow Shane on Instagram here


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